Hello, fellow grumpypantses. I’m contractually obligated to tell you that I went 1-for-3 in predictions last round, narrowly edging out a goddamn coin.
Let’s do predictions for the third round, which, by the way, the Caps aren’t playing.
Through two rounds, everything is awful and everything hurts.
| R1 | R2 | R3 | R4 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Peter | 3 | 1 | ||
| Ian | 6 | 2 | ||
| Keith, a coin | 3 | 0 |
I’m getting destroyed. Ian is doing savant-level preddies, which is my word for predictions. Meanwhile, this clown –
Keith, a 2014 Philadelphia quarter, went oh-fer in the second round. WHAT A LOSER.
Pittsburgh Penguins vs Ottawa Senators
Peter: The Pittsburgh Penguins are banged up to hell, and there’s no way their goalie can hold on. Then again, the Senators are basically Erik Karlsson plus a bunch of schmoes. Then again again, Karlsson has a broken foot. Then again again again, there’s no way Fleury can keep this up. Then again again again, Matt Murray is healthy. I have no idea. I hate hockey. Penguins in 6.
Ian: The Penguins remain the second worst team in the playoffs in possession. They were getting utterly destroyed by Washington in shot attempts and only survived due to stunning goaltending by Marc-Andre Fleury and a high-conversion rate on high-danger scoring chances. I have unbelievable respect for Sidney Crosby now, but I just don’t see how the Penguins can ride this getting-shelled-for-60-minutes-straight-and-score-on-every-odd-man-break-ever wave to another Stanley Cup. I called the Senators trash last round and they still are. Just the Penguins are trashier. Yup, the Senators are going to the Stanley Cup Final. Gosh darn it, Caps. Senators in 6.
Keith, a coin: Penguins.
Nashville Predators vs Anaheim Ducks
Peter: PK Subban’s coronation. The only thing holding the Preds back is the new Paramore album, which is not very good. It’s like a world beat/disco record about divorce, so kinda like Paul Simon’s Graceland set in 2017, except not as rad. Great to hear Zac Farro on drums again, but he’s held back by the genre choices. Preds in 5.
Ian: The Nashville Predators are led by a coach the Capitals passed on several summers ago in favor of Barry Trotz: Peter Laviolette. The Nashville Predators also have a prospect the Caps gave up on in Filip Forsberg. What do those moves have in common? Current Caps GM Brian MacLellan was one of the people behind both of those decisions. Some of you think you know pain. Just wait until June. Preds in 5.
Keith, a coin: Ducks.
Your turn. [Team] in [number of games]. Please go easy on me.